Friday, July 3


Beggars cannot choose
Be happy with what you get
Do not be a dick

Tuesday, June 9


The joy of a nap
It's a safe haven, midday
Warm slumber awaits

Thursday, June 4


Stupid rain won't stop
Am sick of the dreary gloom
When will the sun come?

Thursday, May 21


those are great high heels
you got them at the mall huh
only ten o clock

Wednesday, May 20


Gee this sure is fun
Untangling a slinky
Shit, now I'm bleeding

Tuesday, May 19


I bet I appear jaded
Fururistic love

Saturday, May 9


Poor Jessie Spano
Getting hopped up on those pills
I'm so excited

Thursday, May 7


so you're my god but
you don't need all those stockings
let the licious shake


chocolate head buzz
you crave my hunger for sex
i'm coming down though


master was trampled
i hope we have enough wax
it's dark in those tents


that's just jealousy
i own this shade of purple
so i call it plum


for just a moment
try to ignore my stale drone
and recall childhood

Tuesday, May 5


your butt flap is rad
mine still isn't finished yet
less of a rebel


sure i'll lend a lift
please don't ask me for money
nice meeting you too

A girl I know

With a little curl
In the middle of her head
She can make men melt

Thursday, April 30


i won't answer you
communications are down
talk to this blunt edge


i heard slithering
crackling and whining now
cat eating popcorn


bake on a low heat
layer in carbs and trans-fats
admire those hips


cold hands underneath
clutching they shake and tremble
the risk is holding


this girl is focused
on a burberry swimsuit
veruca salt much

AM Thoughts

i can't see a thing
that includes the alarm clock
shit i'm late again

Cough Cough

that mask won't hide you
for the swine are rising up
giving you the chills

Wednesday, April 29


cover your own ass
climb the corporate ladder
your legs should stay closed

Monday, April 27


we swarm like large moths
with elaborate patterns
stamped into our wings


Wait, what was that sound?
Must drink gallon of water
Plus ice cream and chips

Saturday, April 25

Beautiful Sneakers

it's your turn honey
let's see that upper arm strength
men work the pole too

Friday, April 24


Pound Pound Pound Pound Pound
Pain rushing around my head
Hope these pills work soon

Thursday, April 23


Stupid cold weather
Wearing layers while at home
Such a waste of clothes

Wednesday, April 22

On Completion

take the time to brush
your whole outfit will thank you
lovely hair and teeth

Pizza soon

waiting for the bus
seeing different people
must learn to drive car

Tuesday, April 21

No Cuts

it's tuesday in hell
brimstone and hellfire abound
the line starts here ma'am


Balls are so icky
Testicles you are my foe
Keep them away please

Ice Ice Baby

Crunch crunchity crunch
Cold and delicious keeps me
Hydrated and chill

Monday, April 20

Your Opinion Counts

Brunettes are more fun
What do blonds know anyhow?
I like your dark hair

A Summary

all disco weekend
i need hot stuff baby now
please apply within

We're fat chicks

being a fat girl
is like any other girl
just better and fat

big fat round booty
damn isnt it wonderful
dont smack it hard

use your hand to grab
controversial bullshit
or these awesome tits

I just work here

hi how are you sir
this isn't my company
foreign currency

Friendship is tricky

i know her name sure
call her other stuff inside
it is bitch sorry

For the love of bacon

bacon is my joy
artery clogging be damned
i like it so much

On Fake Hair

my hair is better
than what some choose to purchase
but hey shit happens

silky dreads and falls

smooth your shit down before please
looks better that way

Four Twenty, get in the spirit

smoke fills the room up
why am I watching this dog
giggle festival

oh how i love weed
it makes me giggle a lot
at nothing at all


"Haiku it out" is written by two extraordinarily similar souls, who, from ths point further will be referred to as Catty and Cheeky. Enjoy.